Bob Dylan and 5 other famous sat nav voices we want
Bob Dylan has revealed on his BBC 6Music Theme Time Radio Hour show that he has talked with sat nav companies about voicing directions. Dylan even gav
Bob Dylan has revealed on his BBC 6Music Theme Time Radio Hour show that he has talked with sat nav companies about voicing directions.
Dylan even gave an example: “Left at the next street. No, right. You know what? Just go straight.” He went on to say: “I shouldn’t do it because whichever way I go, I always end up at one place – on Lonely Avenue.” We’ve checked Google Maps and can’t find Lonely Avenue but can direct him to Lonely St, West Columbia.
If Bob isn’t willing to become the new God inside our GPS systems, here’s five other favourite famous folk we’d like to see trapped in a sat-nav.
Jackie Stallone
Turn on the Stallone-nav and Jackie will greet you with her famous self-reflexive shout of “It’s Jackie” before getting you completely lost while sharing total babble. Remember this is the woman who said: “Is England still on the map or have they moved it?”
Jay-Z
Owner of one of the greatest flows in hip-hop, Jay-Z will deliver your directions in sharp rhymes while also bigging up his location finding prowess at every possible occasion. And with a traffic monitoring feature, he’s got 99 problems but a snarl up on the M11 ain’t one.
Margaret Thatcher
Bound to drive you to insanity with its smug, self-satisfied tones, the Thatch-Nav comes with a Tony Blair plug-in which simply removes the wig and a Gordon Brown option that activates mumbling. Has a propensity to declare: “U-turn if you want to.”
Brian Blessed
Feeling sleepy on a long drive, activated the Brian Blessed GPS system. His trademark booming voice will keep you awake and as jittery as you’d get from drinking several cans of Red Bull. Remember, this is the man who was reportedly spotted at an outdoor screening of Flash Gordon saying all his lines in time with the recording. Simply a legend.
Bono
The U2 singer’s sat nav would only come as a RED version, nobly giving money to charity, but would be as irritating as the man himself. Expect to get lost as it lectures you on the inequities of the World Bank and constantly fails to locate the satellite: “We’re where the streets have no name”.
Let us know whether you think we should badger Bob to put his voice on the next Tom Tom and who else you’d like to get your directions from in the comments. And if you’re in the market for a sat nav, try our gloriously extensive Sat nav top 10.
Dan Grabham
Editor-in-Chief